…But I still have money with which I add music to my ever-expanding collection!
Yesterday I read an Associated Press article that said the economic recession may finally be over. I would have linked to it here and made a joke about how I’ve saved the economy by buying music, allowing me to bask in a wonderful I-told-you-so moment, but now I can’t find the article anywhere. Figures.
As always, here’s a list of music I’ve recently acquired. And some other stuff I look forward to acquiring as well. The list, along with additional commentary and whatnot, after the jump.
So I’m sure you guys have all heard about this by now, but recently a woman from Minnesota was fined $1.9 million for downloading music when a court ruled in favor of the RIAA. How many songs, you ask? Surely in order for someone to get that huge a fine they must have been a pretty hardcore file sharer or downloader. We’re talking hundreds, maybe even thousands of songs here, right?
Try 24. As in, two dozen. The number of hours in a day. The real name of that show I like to call the Jack Bauer Power Hour. The Number 23 plus one. Two sets of 12 Angry Men. Kobe Bryant’s new uniform number.
So for every song this woman downloaded, she was charged about $80,000. God, what was she thinking? She could have bought 80,000 songs on iTunes for the price of one song she downloaded.
And if the world does turn, and if London burns, I’ll be standing on the beach with my guitar. I want to be in a band when I get to heaven. Anyone can ENJOY THE GENIUS and there won’t be nothing anymore…
You know, my mom’s been on my case lately about getting a haircut. What she doesn’t understand is that if I grow my hair, then maybe I could become Jim Morrison…
FAT! UGLY! DEAD!
So it’s been a while since the last installment of ENJOY THE GENIUS, a post that remains the most popular on this site by a ridiculously lopsided margin — it’s at 264 views as I write this and no other post on this blog has reached the century mark yet. I attribute all of the success of ETG7 to my remarkable writing skills and promotional savvy and not to that picture of Keeley Hazell that I linked to as a joke. I mean, I posted links to five or six girl pictures in one of my more recent posts and that hasn’t racked up nearly as many hits! It MUST be my writing!
So what have we learned today? Never underestimate the power of boobs. And also that Thom Yorke used to have the same hairdo as my Spanish teacher from my freshman year of high school. (To help you make sense of this comparison, this one guy I know once referred to her as “the dead Barbie.”)
Anyway, this edition of ENJOY THE GENIUS will focus on artists that I can’t believe actually have record deals, as evidenced by the title. In other words, it’s a typical ENJOY THE GENIUS post. And despite what my recent posting history will suggest, you won’t find anything about Soulja Boy or the Jonas Brothers here. No, they’re pretty easy targets. I’ll dig a little deeper this time… but not too much deeper than usual.
Prepare to be depressed, undiscovered musical geniuses of the world, because these people have (or had) record deals and you probably never will. The fun continues after the jump!
…And I’m doing my part. Here’s a list of albums I’ve added to my collection this semester just to show you all that I haven’t forgotten about this blog.
Mastodon: Crack The Skye
Thrice: Vheissu, The Alchemy Index Vols. I & II: Fire & Water
The Decemberists: The Crane Wife
Interpol: Turn On The Bright Lights, Our Love To Admire
The Roots: Game Theory, Phrenology
Between The Buried And Me: Colors
Blur: Blur, 13, Think Tank
Also, I find it immensely amusing that linking to ONE picture of Keeley Hazell can get me so many hits even though I haven’t updated this blog in a while. Check out this list of recent search terms people have used to find my blog…
- Baseball boobs
- Deux alpes boobs
- Girl boobs
- Big boobs
- Nice boobies
- Boobs thrust
- Pretty girls with nice boobs
- Hot boobs fuckin
- Huge boobs
- Public boobs
- DJ girls boobs
- Boob lady
- Boobs hot
- Keeley Hazell boobs
I’ve learned my lesson well, folks. From now on, EVERY post on this blog will be tagged with labels relating to boobs. Yes, I know it’s a dishonest way to increase traffic to my site. But who knows? Maybe someone who comes here searching for boobs will end up being so impressed by my blog that they’ll forget all about the boobs and read my posts and tell all their friends what a kickass writer I am.
And maybe Keeley Hazell will pay a visit to my apartment some time this weekend because she’s totally turned on by guys who host radio shows and write blogs about music and have been known to take pictures like this of themselves:
Hey, as long as I’m dreaming, I might as well dream big. And it’s a big dream. Big like a nice pair of boobs.