The Beach Boys are one of those rare musical acts where they’ve been around long enough, prolific enough, and most importantly good enough to say that everyone probably likes something they’ve done. Even if you’re not a diehard fan, you have to at least tip your cap to the sheer songwriting genius of Brian Wilson. His intricate song structures, diverse instrumentation, and carefully arranged vocal harmonies were so far ahead of their time that people are still having trouble keeping up with him – and Pet Sounds came out 45 years ago. If any pop or rock musician had earned the right to call his music “teenage symphonies to God,” Brian Wilson was that man.
But we’re not here to talk about Brian Wilson’s Beach Boys. That band was one of the greatest of all time. No, we’re here to talk about what that band eventually became after Brian’s drug problems and mental illness sadly phased him out of the picture. By the late 1980s and early ‘90s they’d completely abandoned nearly all traces of their classic sound, creating some depressingly lousy music in the process.
Seriously, I was shocked to discover just how far this band had fallen. But I guess that’s what happens sometimes… When Bad Songs Happen To Good Bands.
…But I still have money with which I add music to my ever-expanding collection!
Yesterday I read an Associated Press article that said the economic recession may finally be over. I would have linked to it here and made a joke about how I’ve saved the economy by buying music, allowing me to bask in a wonderful I-told-you-so moment, but now I can’t find the article anywhere. Figures.
As always, here’s a list of music I’ve recently acquired. And some other stuff I look forward to acquiring as well. The list, along with additional commentary and whatnot, after the jump.
My friend’s got a boyfriend. Man, she hates that dick. She tells me every day. He wants more dinero just to stay at home! Well, my friend, you’ve got to say, “I won’t pay, I won’t pay ya — no way-ay-ay-ay! Na-na, why don’t you ENJOY THE GENIUS?”
That’s right, ENJOY THE GENIUS is finally back, mainly because I’ve been saving my other big ETG idea for the 10th-episode special.
Nowadays, just as I posited with the title of the last installment of ENJOY THE GENIUS, anyone can get a record deal. It doesn’t really matter if you can sing or not, especially not in the age of AutoTune and “famous for being famous,” whatever the hell that means. All you really need is to either get enough Myspace friends or already be rich and/or famous, and you’re good to go. This is why people like Kevin Federline and Paris Hilton have been allowed to release albums despite never actually displaying anything resembling musical talent beforehand. And now that the Disney Channel is basically a teen-pop factory, young actors and actresses are more able to flood the airwaves with forgettable pop music than ever before!
But it’s not like this is the first time Hollywood has infiltrated other forms of showbiz. Back in the day, movie stars used to sing in their films all the time. Actors knew how to play instruments too. Hell, Harpo Marx only spoke one line of dialogue in his entire film career, but he could still play the shit out of the harp.
Still, just because Judy Garland and Gene Kelly could sing their hearts out doesn’t mean every A-list actor or actress who wanted to branch out into music could pull it off. And today, we’re going to take a look at some movie stars who probably should have stuck with their day jobs… along with one wannabe musical act so incredibly ridiculous that it took the combined efforts of the Nostalgia Critic and the Angry Video Game Nerd to mock it properly.
The fun begins, as always, after the jump!
Hey everyone! It’s been a while since I last updated this blog, so here I am. It’s kind of sad that I have to start every other post with pretty much that exact sentence, especially considering how much free time I have. But whatever. Here we are, and to atone somewhat for my recent absence I give you Bret Michaels getting clotheslined by a Tony Awards set piece.
Oh, I kid you, Mr. Michaels. I know you’ve contributed a lot to American pop culture. Without Poison, nobody would know what “Unskinny Bop” means. And without Rock of Love Bus, we wouldn’t have been subjected to the first televised twat shot that wasn’t on HBO or late-night Cinemax or some random subscription-only porn channel. Truth be told, I’m not sure what to make of this dude. Sometimes he actually does seem like a nice guy, but then sometimes on his show he’ll make the girls do or wear something really sleazy, and one of them will be like, “I don’t feel comfortable doing this” and he’ll just say, “Oh, come on, you need to learn how to party.”
But enough about Bret Michaels. I’m not even sure why I’m writing so much about him since I’m not a Poison fan and I didn’t play any of his music on my show. And speaking of which, here’s the playlist from May 1, 2009.
1. The Clash, “Clampdown” (London Calling)
2. The Strokes, “Reptilia” (Room On Fire)
3. Foxboro Hot Tubs, “Highway 1” (Stop Drop And Roll!!!)
4. The Beatles, “I’m Only Sleeping” (Revolver)
5. The Decemberists, “The Crane Wife 3” (The Crane Wife)
6. Radiohead, “The Trickster” (My Iron Lung EP)
7. Interpol, “Mammoth” (Our Love To Admire)
8. Pavement, “Embassy Row” (Brighten The Corners)
9. Spoon, “Don’t Make Me A Target” (Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga)
10. The National, “Trophy Wife” (Sad Songs For Dirty Lovers)
11. The Smashing Pumpkins, “Here Is No Why” (Mellon Collie And The Infinite Sadness)
12. Squeeze, “Pulling Mussels (From The Shell)” (Singles — 45’s And Under)
13. R.E.M., “Strange” (Document)
14. Wintersleep, “Jaws Of Life” (Untitled)
15. Weezer, “Slave” (Maladroit)
16. The Fall Of Troy, “The Dark Trail” (Manipulator)
17. Bloc Party, “Like Eating Glass” (Silent Alarm)
18. Alkaline Trio, “Mercy Me” (Crimson)
19. Muse, “Stockholm Syndrome” (Absolution)
20. Nine Black Alps, “Get Your Guns” (Everything Is)
21. Radiohead, “Bodysnatchers” (In Rainbows)
22. Nirvana, “Endless Nameless” (Nevermind bonus track)
23. Kings Of Leon, “Talihina Sky” (Youth And Young Manhood bonus track)
24. Minus The Bear, “Electric Rainbow” (Planet Of Ice bonus disc)
25. Blur, “Me, White Noise” (Think Tank hidden track)
26. Queens Of The Stone Age, “The Fun Machine Took A Shit And Died” (Era Vulgaris bonus track, certain editions only)
So since I’m starting to run low on playlist posts, what to do aside from ENJOY THE GENIUS and Top 5 posts? Don’t you worry your pretty little heads, all five of you readers who come here searching for something other than pictures of tits. I’ve got ideas, so stay tuned. And I’ll try to update more regularly, but I won’t guarantee anything. In the immortal words of Eric Cartman, “What-eva! What-eva! I’ll do what I want!”
That is one seriously huge mouthful.
(LOL THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID LOL)
Oh, shut up, Mr. Dirty-Minded Inner Voice. You know I was talking about the title of this post.
(AMONG OTHER THINGS HA HA HA)
Anyway, as if this intro wasn’t enough evidence that I’m weird, there’s also this top 5 list. It’s strange how sometimes music can provide such a fitting soundtrack to your life, as if your iPod is reading your mind or something. Like, here’s an example… the other day I had “Green Gloves” by the National stuck in my head even though I hadn’t listened to it in a while. And sure enough, my iPod started playing “Green Gloves” that same day. (Not that I’m complaining, because “Green Gloves” is a good song.)
Okay, I’ll admit that’s kind of a stretch. But my iPod also seems to put on a soundtrack of songs that fit my mood. Maybe that’s just me subconsciously choosing to play songs that suit whatever mood I’m in. Still, it’s odd to consider just how many of them seem to come up within close proximity of each other.
It even applies to the radio sometimes too. I remember I was on my way home from a counseling appointment and listening to a rock station when all of a sudden the new (at the time) Puddle Of Mudd single comes on. It’s the one that goes, “Maybe I’m the one who is a schizophrenic psycho.”
But the trend that gets to me the most is when I get a song stuck in my head that lowers my confidence when I pay attention to the lyrics. Like, for example… one of these next five songs is practically guaranteed to get stuck in my head somehow whenever I meet a pretty girl. I like all of these songs, too, so I’ll listen to them anyway. But if I listen closely and start thinking about the lyrics (or even particular lines that stand out), it can really do a number on me.
Yeah, I know it’s just music. But music can be a pretty powerful thing when you listen closely. That’s why it’s so magical. I just wish these next five songs would stop casting their particular spells on me!
And yeah, this is meant as a self-deprecating post. I figure it’s always best to have a sense of humor about yourself, because if you didn’t you’d drive yourself crazy. That said… not all of this post is going to be funny. Now, on with the list…