Let’s consider for a moment what Lil Wayne apparently thinks rock music is.
A few years ago he contributed a guest verse to “Let It Rock,” the debut single from producer-turned-singer Kevin Rudolf. “Let It Rock” isn’t really a “traditional” rock song in any sense; it’s more of a typical club banger that happens to feature power chords. The song itself is okay, but I really bring it up because it seems like the seeds of Weezy’s ill-fated attempts at crossing over were planted within that track. Ever since that song came out, he’s been trying to add rock elements to his usual rap and AutoTune pop and… well, let’s just say it hasn’t really worked out.
In January of 2010 Lil Wayne unleashed Rebirth to a world that had been dreading its arrival since the day it was announced. The album had been delayed so often that by the time it finally came out its lead single “Prom Queen,” which is already a strong contender for worst song of the decade, was all but a distant memory. The critics, of course, completely eviscerated it – and rightfully so; Rebirth was a total disaster.
Rebirth was a rock album made by someone who had no clue how to make rock music – hell, he could barely even play two notes on the guitar – but tried anyway because nobody was going to tell him, “Dude, this is a really bad idea.” It was filled with extremely overproduced guitars, cheesy solos, and quite possibly the worst singing I’ve ever heard from a major-label artist. This is probably an unfair distinction to give it – Lil Wayne was, after all, a rapper using excessive amounts of AutoTune, but it was his idea to let us hear him warbling like a whiny robot and so he must pay the penalty.
That’s right, ladies and gentlemen. In the words of that one guy from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, I’m not dead yet. I feel fine. I think I’ll go for a walk! I feel happy, I feel happy — *gets knocked out with a stick*
So where have I been for, like, all of 2010? Looking for jobs, mostly (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SOMEBODY HIRE ME, I PROMISE I’LL BE GOOD AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER), and also writing and recording my own songs just for fun. I might even share them on the Internet someday after I get over my crippling lack of self-confidence! Hooray for me!
Anyway, the 2011 Grammy nominees were announced recently and this gave me inspiration to make my long-awaited, much-anticipated (by absolutely nobody) return to the blogosphere. Of course, this isn’t a complete Grammy preview — I mean, there are 109 different categories and I’d have to be crazy to cover them all. This isn’t even a complete preview of all the awards people actually care about, just the ones I was able to write about in an entertaining fashion.
The Listen Up! 2011 Grammy Awards That You Care About And That I Was Also Able To Make Jokes About Preview continues after the jump!
By now everyone knows about Kanye West interrupting Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech at the MTV Video Music Awards on Sunday, right? Right. Seriously, man… just when you think Kanye can’t be any more of a douchebag, he finds a way to out-douche himself. Taylor Swift went from looking like she’d just seen the world’s cutest puppy dog (after hearing them announce her name) to looking like she was about to burst into tears right there on the stage (after Kanye did his thing).
But fear not, Miss Swift, for the entire Internet has seen fit to avenge you by tearing the asshole a new asshole. The result is I’mma Let You Finish, which has yielded some pretty hilarious results (and some not-so-hilarious results involving 9/11 and the recently departed Patrick Swayze). I’ve been having some fun with this one over the past few days. The fruits of my madness after the jump!