Posts tagged “Kanye West

The 2012 “Listen Up!” Awards: The Triumphant Return of the Harleys

Time really flies, doesn’t it? It feels like only yesterday that I was writing my year-end Harley Awards post, when in fact it was around 367 days ago. As I write this we have exactly a month left before the end of the Mayan calendar, which everyone has apparently equated with the end of the world. Why doesn’t the human race ever learn that we are incapable of predicting the apocalypse? Every time people have thought doomsday was upon us, absolutely nothing happened and we all carried on with business as usual. So you might not want to quit your job and spend all the money in your savings account on a bomb shelter under the assumption that your life is about to become a Roland Emmerich movie.

Anyway, as 2012 is approaching its conclusion, it’s time once again for me to celebrate achievements in totally arbitrary categories that I made up myself. In other words, it’s just another typical awards show. It’s time to bring on the 2012 Harleys!

As always, the fun begins after the jump.



The 2011 “Listen Up!” Awards: Handing Out The Harleys

So here we are, entering the home stretch of the year 2011. And if you actually believe that whole stupid Mayan apocalypse theory, we’re entering the home stretch of the human race. On that happy note, we’re going to be seeing some year-end lists popping up some time in the next couple of weeks. I figure I might as well submit my own, but just as I did last time I’ll be looking at unconventional categories (read: totally arbitrary distinctions that I made up myself). It’s time for the 2011 Harleys!

Who's a good little award statuette? YOU ARE! Come here and let me scratch you!

The fun begins, as always, after the jump. Bring on the first award!


Hail To The King Of Limbs, Pt. 2: First Impressions

Well, well, well. How’s this for a pleasant surprise? After the Valentine’s Day announcement that their new album The King Of Limbs would be released on Saturday, Radiohead apparently decided that five more days was too long after making us wait for nearly three and a half years and let us download it a day early.

So now the mysteries surrounding LP8 have been resolved – well, mostly. The King Of Limbs is an 8-track affair; half the album consists of songs nobody outside the band’s inner circle even knew existed. The songs the fans already know that appear here (in completely revamped form) are “Lotus Flower,” “Give Up The Ghost,” “Separator” (formerly “Mouse Dog Bird” – thank God they changed that title), and perhaps most surprisingly “Morning Mr. Magpie,” which has been kicking around since the Hail To The Thief sessions and was only played once in a live webcast. (It’s also featured in The Most Gigantic Lying Mouth Of All Time, a collection of short films set to Radiohead songs and clips of the band performing.)

And how does the new record sound? Completely different from anything else they’ve ever done, as usual. It’s very, very far from the folksy record you might expect considering that it’s named after a tree. But where its predecessor In Rainbows is one of the most immediately accessible albums of the band’s career (and a good place to start for newcomers), The King Of Limbs challenges you from the very first note. It’s even stranger than Kid A and Amnesiac in places, and sometimes feels like a follow-up to Thom Yorke’s solo album The Eraser only with more guitars. Turns out “These Are My Twisted Words” was only a partial preview of what was to come. We’ll take a track-by-track look at this baby after the jump!


Oh my God, I’M BACK! (And with a 2011 Grammy preview)

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen. In the words of that one guy from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, I’m not dead yet. I feel fine. I think I’ll go for a walk! I feel happy, I feel happy — *gets knocked out with a stick*

So where have I been for, like, all of 2010? Looking for jobs, mostly (PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE SOMEBODY HIRE ME, I PROMISE I’LL BE GOOD AND I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER), and also writing and recording my own songs just for fun. I might even share them on the Internet someday after I get over my crippling lack of self-confidence! Hooray for me!

Anyway, the 2011 Grammy nominees were announced recently and this gave me inspiration to make my long-awaited, much-anticipated (by absolutely nobody) return to the blogosphere. Of course, this isn’t a complete Grammy preview — I mean, there are 109 different categories and I’d have to be crazy to cover them all. This isn’t even a complete preview of all the awards people actually care about, just the ones I was able to write about in an entertaining fashion.

The Listen Up! 2011 Grammy Awards That You Care About And That I Was Also Able To Make Jokes About Preview continues after the jump!


The 2009 “Listen Up!” Awards

Well, with 2009 approaching the ol’ finish line, you’ll start seeing lots of year-end wrap-up lists and things. And since it’s the end of the Double-0 Decade, you’ll be seeing lots of decade recap lists as well. (Some early spoilers: Pitchfork has crowned Radiohead’s Kid A the best album of the Double-0s, while the NME favors Is This It by the Strokes.)

But you won’t find that here, and not now. No, here you will find a year-end recap that dares to be somewhat different. This is the first-ever Listen Up! Year-End Awards ceremony – or you can just name them the Harleys after the adorable little trophy I’m giving out to the winners.

Let's see the Academy beat THIS one.

The fun begins after the jump!


Damn It, Kanye!


By now everyone knows about Kanye West interrupting Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech at the MTV Video Music Awards on Sunday, right? Right. Seriously, man… just when you think Kanye can’t be any more of a douchebag, he finds a way to out-douche himself. Taylor Swift went from looking like she’d just seen the world’s cutest puppy dog (after hearing them announce her name) to looking like she was about to burst into tears right there on the stage (after Kanye did his thing).

And for the record, THIS is the worlds cutest puppy dog. His name is Harley and hes all mine.

And for the record, THIS is the world's cutest puppy dog. His name is Harley and he's all mine.

But fear not, Miss Swift, for the entire Internet has seen fit to avenge you by tearing the asshole a new asshole. The result is I’mma Let You Finish, which has yielded some pretty hilarious results (and some not-so-hilarious results involving 9/11 and the recently departed Patrick Swayze). I’ve been having some fun with this one over the past few days. The fruits of my madness after the jump!


POTW #3: Love These Songs Cancerously

Hello again. It’s been a while since the last time I — oh wait, I just updated this blog a few hours ago. Never mind.

Well, here I am again, ready to write another lengthy post for your reading pleasure. It’s either that or go downstairs and watch the Jon & Kate Plus 8 marathon on TLC with my sister and her friends. Can someone please explain all the buzz over this show? I’ve seen a few episodes, and it’s probably the second-most boring reality show I’ve ever seen. We get it, Jon and Kate — you have eight adorable kids, and you like to take them to the zoo and do other normal family stuff. Hooray for you. As much as I can’t stand that “Octomom” woman with the 14 kids and hate the fact that she’s famous and getting her own show, at least her complete insanity will give you something to watch.

For the record, the most boring reality show I’ve ever seen is Laguna Beach/The Hills. I’m sort of lumping these shows together because they’re basically two different boring shows about the same boring people. They sit there and talk while the cameras go back and forth between the same two camera angles and Natasha Bedingfield plays in the background. And what’s worse is that it’s blatantly scripted, so really it’s more like you’re watching a bad soap opera starring godawful amateur actors.

But anyway, I’m not here to rant about terrible reality shows (read: reality shows in general). I’m actually here to tell you all about the songs I haven’t been able to stop listening to lately. My picks of the week are coming up… after the jump!