Posts tagged “Batman

POTW #9: I Did Not Promise Anyone Jetpacks

Once again, it’s time to unveil my not-exactly-weekly Picks of the Week! And it’s an extra-special edition this time because today is February 29th, and how often do you get to post things on February 29th? (The answer: Every four years. Duh.) Yeah, I know, that’s the lamest reason anyone has ever given for calling anything a special edition (George Lucas, all is forgiven). This entire introductory paragraph is making me sound like that stupid Batman villain who is driven mad by his obsession with the days of the week. And no, I did not make that up. His name is Calendar Man and he is excruciatingly lame.

Look at this guy. LOOK AT HIM. Someone at DC Comics thought this was a good idea.

You’re probably wondering what’s up with the bizarre title of this post. I usually title my Picks of the Week posts after a lyric from one of the featured songs, but the best I could come up with was something involving promising people jetpacks. That will make sense shortly. But first, allow me to treat you to not one, but two brand-spanking-new songs from Radiohead.

“Identikit”

“Cut A Hole”

The picks of the week are coming up after the jump – but not after any messages from my sponsors, because I don’t have any.

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ENJOY THE GENIUS 8: Anyone Can Get A Record Deal

And if the world does turn, and if London burns, I’ll be standing on the beach with my guitar. I want to be in a band when I get to heaven. Anyone can ENJOY THE GENIUS and there won’t be nothing anymore…

You know, my mom’s been on my case lately about getting a haircut. What she doesn’t understand is that if I grow my hair, then maybe I could become Jim Morrison…

FAT! UGLY! DEAD!

So it’s been a while since the last installment of ENJOY THE GENIUS, a post that remains the most popular on this site by a ridiculously lopsided margin — it’s at 264 views as I write this and no other post on this blog has reached the century mark yet. I attribute all of the success of ETG7 to my remarkable writing skills and promotional savvy and not to that picture of Keeley Hazell that I linked to as a joke. I mean, I posted links to five or six girl pictures in one of my more recent posts and that hasn’t racked up nearly as many hits! It MUST be my writing!

So what have we learned today? Never underestimate the power of boobs. And also that Thom Yorke used to have the same hairdo as my Spanish teacher from my freshman year of high school. (To help you make sense of this comparison, this one guy I know once referred to her as “the dead Barbie.”)

Dear Mr. Yorke: I am so very, very sorry if this image brings back painful memories. Im sure youre just as surprised as I am that once upon a time people thought piss-colored hair was cool.

Dear Mr. Yorke: I am very, very sorry if this image brings back any painful memories. I'm sure you're just as regretful as everyone else that back in 1993 people actually used to think that piss-colored hair was cool. Can't wait for LP8! Sincerely, Colin.

Anyway, this edition of ENJOY THE GENIUS will focus on artists that I can’t believe actually have record deals, as evidenced by the title. In other words, it’s a typical ENJOY THE GENIUS post. And despite what my recent posting history will suggest, you won’t find anything about Soulja Boy or the Jonas Brothers here. No, they’re pretty easy targets. I’ll dig a little deeper this time… but not too much deeper than usual.

Prepare to be depressed, undiscovered musical geniuses of the world, because these people have (or had) record deals and you probably never will. The fun continues after the jump!

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Dec. 5, 2008: Show #8

Just a couple more of these “old playlist” posts and then I’ll finally have the latest one up.

So, in the immortal words of the Joker, “And here… we… GO!”

1. The Hives, “Main Offender” (Veni Vidi Vicious)

2. The Sword, “Lords” (Gods Of The Earth)

3. Kings Of Leon, “Four Kicks” (Aha Shake Heartbreak)

4. Nirvana, “Milk It” (In Utero)

5. Rancid, “Red Hot Moon” (Indestructible)

6. Battles, “Atlas” (Mirrored)

7. At The Drive-In, “Cosmonaut” (Relationship Of Command)

8. Metallica, “Battery” (Master Of Puppets)

9. Queens Of The Stone Age, “Everybody Knows That You’re Insane” (Lullabies To Paralyze)

10. The Dillinger Escape Plan, “Setting Fire To Sleeping Giants” (Miss Machine)

11. The Whigs, “Nothing Is Easy” (Give ‘Em All A Big Fat Lip)

12. Foo Fighters, “Stacked Actors” (There Is Nothing Left To Lose)

13. Rise Against, “The First Drop” (Siren Song Of The Counter Culture)

14. The Smashing Pumpkins, “The End Is The Beginning Is The End” (‘Batman & Robin’ Soundtrack)

15. Muse, “Apocalypse Please” (Absolution)

16. The Walkmen, “We’ve Been Had” (Everyone Who Pretended To Like Me Is Gone)

17. The Clash, “Train In Vain (Stand By Me)” (London Calling)

18. The Rolling Stones, “Paint It Black” (Forty Licks, Aftermath US version)

19. Minus The Bear, “Throwin’ Shapes” (Planet Of Ice)

20. Bloc Party, “Positive Tension” (Silent Alarm)

21. Spoon, “The Two Sides Of Monsieur Valentine” (Gimme Fiction)

22. We Are Scientists, “After Hours” (Brain Thrust Mastery)

23. Mastodon, “The Wolf Is Loose” (Blood Mountain)

24. The Fall Of Troy, “F.C.P.R.E.M.I.X.” (Doppelganger)

25. High On Fire, “Anointing Of Seer” (Blessed Black Wings)

26. My Morning Jacket, “Gideon” (Z)

27. Radiohead, “Street Spirit (Fade Out)” (The Bends)