Top 5 Songs I Really Wish Would Stop Getting Stuck In My Head Whenever I Meet A Pretty Girl

That is one seriously huge mouthful.

(LOL THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID LOL)

Oh, shut up, Mr. Dirty-Minded Inner Voice. You know I was talking about the title of this post.

(AMONG OTHER THINGS HA HA HA)

Um… sure.

Anyway, as if this intro wasn’t enough evidence that I’m weird, there’s also this top 5 list. It’s strange how sometimes music can provide such a fitting soundtrack to your life, as if your iPod is reading your mind or something. Like, here’s an example… the other day I had “Green Gloves” by the National stuck in my head even though I hadn’t listened to it in a while. And sure enough, my iPod started playing “Green Gloves” that same day. (Not that I’m complaining, because “Green Gloves” is a good song.)

Okay, I’ll admit that’s kind of a stretch. But my iPod also seems to put on a soundtrack of songs that fit my mood. Maybe that’s just me subconsciously choosing to play songs that suit whatever mood I’m in. Still, it’s odd to consider just how many of them seem to come up within close proximity of each other.

It even applies to the radio sometimes too. I remember I was on my way home from a counseling appointment and listening to a rock station when all of a sudden the new (at the time) Puddle Of Mudd single comes on. It’s the one that goes, “Maybe I’m the one who is a schizophrenic psycho.”

But the trend that gets to me the most is when I get a song stuck in my head that lowers my confidence when I pay attention to the lyrics. Like, for example… one of these next five songs is practically guaranteed to get stuck in my head somehow whenever I meet a pretty girl. I like all of these songs, too, so I’ll listen to them anyway. But if I listen closely and start thinking about the lyrics (or even particular lines that stand out), it can really do a number on me.

Yeah, I know it’s just music. But music can be a pretty powerful thing when you listen closely. That’s why it’s so magical. I just wish these next five songs would stop casting their particular spells on me!

And yeah, this is meant as a self-deprecating post. I figure it’s always best to have a sense of humor about yourself, because if you didn’t you’d drive yourself crazy.  That said… not all of this post is going to be funny. Now, on with the list…

But first…

Honorable Mention: Weezer, “Why Bother?”

Key Soul-Crushing Lyric: “Why bother? It’s gonna hurt me/It’s gonna kill when you desert me.”

Fun fact about this song — when I first heard it, I thought the lyric went, “My father is gonna hurt me.” Well, at least I’ve never thought that Jimi Hendrix said he was about to “kiss this guy” in “Purple Haze.” Comically misheard lyrics aside, the narrator of this Pinkerton song is basically taking a very pessimistic view toward romantic relationships in general. He’s reached a point where he doesn’t even think it’s worth the effort to ask a girl out because he knows it won’t end well. But at least he can say it’s “happened to [him] twice before,” so his viewpoint has been formed based on unfortunate experiences. As for me? I’m just paranoid.

5. Kings Of Leon, “Charmer”

Key Soul-Crushing Lyric: “WOOOOOOOOW/She’s always looking at me/WOOOOOOOOW/She’s always looking at me!/WOOOOOOOOW/She’s such a charmer, oh no!”

Well, this girl may scare the shit out of Caleb Followill (it’s like she’s Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction or something), but at least he knows that she’s interested, I guess. Unless a girl decides to make it BLATANTLY OBVIOUS that she’s into me, I’ll probably never notice. Why? Because just like that famous Jethro Tull song, I’m thick as a brick. And if a girl does make it obvious (to anyone with a properly functioning brain, at least) that she likes me, I wouldn’t know what to do. And that crushing fear and anxiety over possibly screwing everything up always seems to get the best of me. Of course, I’ve never had to deal with a married woman who apparently wants to bang me, which is what the rest of “Charmer” seems to be about, but still… that anxiety is still ever-present in Caleb’s voice, and even though we sound nothing alike, sometimes I can’t help but think he sounds like me.

4. Snow Patrol, “Spitting Games”

Key Soul-Crushing Lyric: “I’m far too shy to speak to you at school/You leave me numb and I’m not sure why/ … /I struggle for the words and then give up.”

Okay, so I’m not the creepy stalker Gary Lightbody’s narrator makes himself out to be in this song’s opening lyrics (“I broke into your house last night/And left a note at your bedside”). And I can’t say that I’ve ever reached a point where I “fell in love with everyone I saw.” Yet somehow Lightbody knows exactly how I feel and what I do when I meet a pretty girl. I sure hope I’m not the one this song’s narrator is talking about. Then again, nobody’s ever left notes in my bedroom, so I’m about 99.999999999% sure it’s not me he’s after. Plus, I doubt Gary Lightbody even knows that I own a copy of each of the last three Snow Patrol albums, let alone where I live.

3. Matthew Sweet, “Sick Of Myself”

Key Soul-Crushing Lyric: “There’s something in your eyes/That is keeping my hope alive/But I’m sick of myself when I look at you.”

Yeah… like I said, this is a pretty self-deprecating post and not all of it is going to be humorous. If Gary Lightbody understands how I act around girls, then Matthew Sweet knows how I feel about my behavior. As much as I like to joke about my social incompetence, the truth is that it really pisses me off. Sometimes I’d like to get some kind of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind procedure done to myself so I can erase the memory of whatever it was that inspired all this anxiety, because it’s immensely frustrating. I suppose I can take some solace in the fact that Matthew Sweet feels the same way —  or at the very least the narrator in this song does.

And if you thought this entry was depressing, run for the hills! While the last three songs were able to relate to me somehow, these next two go on the offensive…

2. Minus The Bear, “Ice Monster”

Key Soul-Crushing Lyric: “She’s gone/She’s gone across the border, man/And you’re never gonna see her again!”

For the most part, this seems like a song that shouldn’t really be here. The narrator of “Ice Monster” is pissed off that his girlfriend’s ex is still hanging around trying to win her back, so he flat-out tells the ex to leave her alone and get over it: “I could give fuck-all what you do to me/Just leave her out of this!” And like the old saying goes, nobody wants to be that guy. So why is “Ice Monster” on this list? Well, do you see that lyric in italics up there? That’s why. That particular line, especially when taken out of context, sticks with me like few other lines in any other song can — it’s like Jake Snider is reminding me that I’ve blown it and I won’t get a second chance. You know, just so I don’t forget. Thanks a lot, dude. But no hard feelings — I still love MTB. You guys were great when I saw you in DC back in October. I got a T-shirt and everything.

1. Radiohead, “Nude”

Key Soul-Crushing Lyric: THE WHOLE DAMN SONG.

This was quite possibly the easiest #1 selection I’ve ever made. I like this song. Really, I do. It was one of the first In Rainbows tracks that really hooked me. But every damn time I’m feeling good after meeting a pretty girl or having a nice little chat with her… suddenly, there it is. Thom Yorke’s voice whispering in the back of my mind. I try to ignore it and focus on the positive. But Thom will NOT be ignored. So he gets louder and louder…

“Don’t get any big ideas. They’re not gonna happen. You paint yourself white and fill up with noise, but there’ll be something missing. Now that you’ve found it, it’s gone. Now that you feel it, you don’t. You’ve gone off the rails. So don’t get any big ideas. They’re not gonna happen. You’ll go to hell for what your dirty mind is thinking!”

Damn it, Thom. There goes all my self-esteem. Now I feel like absolute shit. I just got told off by my favorite band on the planet. Now I know how Scott Tenorman must have felt… minus the whole “HOLY FUCKING SHIT I JUST ATE MY PARENTS IN A BOWL OF CHILI” thing, of course.

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One response

  1. armetra

    This is my first time to visit your blog…

    Nice post, really cool…
    Especially about “It’s strange how sometimes music can provide such a fitting soundtrack to your life, as if your iPod is reading your mind or something”…
    OMG, that is so true…!!!!

    March 11, 2009 at 5:14 am

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