ENJOY THE GENIUS 4: World’s Greatest Guitar Heroes

Now, this is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down. And I’d like to take a minute, so just sit right there…


I’m on a bit of a ’90s nostalgia kick lately, aren’t I? Anyway, for this edition of ENJOY THE GENIUS I felt like paying homage to some of the finest musicians to ever pick up a guitar. And no, I’m not talking about the Hendrixes and Claptons of the world. Those guys get plenty of love from just about everyone, and deservedly so. No, today I feel like paying tribute to some of the less heralded masters of the craft.

Let’s begin with someone who clearly knows how to handle an instrument, crafting beautiful melodies the likes of which mere amateurs such as myself cannot possibly fathom. I speak, of course, of Limp Bizkit frontman Fred Durst.

What we have here is a truly stunning example of where most guitar players on the planet Earth haven’t dared to go. Durst’s guitar work here is completely devoid of all sense of time signature, melody, tempo, or rhythm. I can practically guarantee that the only way you’ve heard a guitar solo like this before is if you’ve watched this video before. This solo is a masterpiece, a classic bit of shredding, and he’s even singing while playing the first part of it! Thomas Erak, eat your heart out.

Oh, and while we’re on the subject of Mr. Durst…

I don’t even know what to say. When this video reached its 1:25 mark, I just couldn’t help myself… I was in tears. Tears that can only come from the hardest laughter. But at least this video is supposed to be funny.

I would also like to take time to call your attention to a similarly unheralded guitar hero by the name of Lil Wayne. Yeah, I know he’s a rapper. Apparently Les Pauls and Strats are the new bling… wait, he’s actually trying to play?!?

My God, he’s actually trying to PLAY!!!!!!!!!!! The guy is trying to make a rock album now… oh my God.

What the fuck was that? Was he just trying to tap his fretboard like Eddie Van Friggin’ Halen? I can’t really tell. He’s clearly hitting the strings… he’s pummeling away at that fretboard, at least… but I can’t hear anything. Perhaps a sound engineer decided he didn’t want Wayne to embarrass himself too much so he turned the volume all the way down. Not that it matters to all the crazy screaming girls in the audience. Just seeing Weezy with a guitar is enough to make them freak out. They’re doing a better job shredding their vocal chords than Lil Wayne is at shredding guitar chords.

I’m trying to find good live videos of Weezy trying to play guitar, but none of them are very good quality. You can hardly hear his guitar at all. I have to give him props for trying to make a rock album, though… especially when you consider that he can barely play a note. I mean, say what you will about this next guy, but at least his guitar is audible and he’s actually hitting notes.

And yes, he’s just strumming all the open strings.

So until next time, keep on enjoying the genius.


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