POTW #9: I Did Not Promise Anyone Jetpacks
Once again, it’s time to unveil my not-exactly-weekly Picks of the Week! And it’s an extra-special edition this time because today is February 29th, and how often do you get to post things on February 29th? (The answer: Every four years. Duh.) Yeah, I know, that’s the lamest reason anyone has ever given for calling anything a special edition (George Lucas, all is forgiven). This entire introductory paragraph is making me sound like that stupid Batman villain who is driven mad by his obsession with the days of the week. And no, I did not make that up. His name is Calendar Man and he is excruciatingly lame.
Look at this guy. LOOK AT HIM. Someone at DC Comics thought this was a good idea.
You’re probably wondering what’s up with the bizarre title of this post. I usually title my Picks of the Week posts after a lyric from one of the featured songs, but the best I could come up with was something involving promising people jetpacks. That will make sense shortly. But first, allow me to treat you to not one, but two brand-spanking-new songs from Radiohead.
“Identikit”
“Cut A Hole”
The picks of the week are coming up after the jump – but not after any messages from my sponsors, because I don’t have any.
The Curious Case Of Chris Brown
As anyone who follows the music industry knows, the Grammy Awards were handed out earlier this month. The big winner, as expected, was Adele, who took home half a dozen pieces of old-timey-record-player-shaped hardware and received a standing ovation for her performance of “Rolling In The Deep.” The Foo Fighters were pretty big winners too, getting two performance spots and basically sweeping the entire rock category – they even took home the Best Hard Rock/Metal Performance award for “White Limo” over the likes of Megadeth, Mastodon, and Dream Theater. Other highlights of the show included performances from Bruce Springsteen, Paul McCartney, and the reunited surviving Beach Boys, along with tributes to Glen Campbell and Whitney Houston.
You know who else was a big winner this year? Chris Brown. He may have only received one Grammy – Best R&B Album for F.A.M.E. – but he also got to perform twice and received a standing ovation at an award show that unofficially blacklisted him a mere three years ago in the wake of that incident. The fact that he was even allowed to appear there at all counts as a pretty huge victory for “Breezy,” since that incident briefly rendered him a pop pariah and possibly this generation’s answer to Ike Turner for all the wrong reasons. You think it’s any coincidence that Rihanna showed up to the Grammys looking like Tina Turner? Maybe it is, but she couldn’t have looked any more like Tina if she was auditioning for a remake of What’s Love Got To Do With It.
Top 5 Favorite Love Songs
Well, it’s that time of year again. It’s Valentine’s Day, the day when couples across the globe come together in a Hallmark-approved celebration of their love and bitter singles like me feel strangely compelled to remind everyone of the fakeness of the holiday and how if you really love somebody you don’t need a special holiday to make you show it. The central dilemma of Valentine’s Day is the conflict between true love and obligation – if you put on some big romantic display on this day of all days, are you really doing it because you love your partner or because you feel like that’s what you’re supposed to do every February 14th?
I don’t know, maybe I just look at Valentine’s Day this way because I’ve been single for it every year, so I feel like I’ve always been on the outside looking in and don’t know what it’s like to share it with someone. The highlight of my Valentine’s Day every year is getting my Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue in the mail, the exception being last year because that’s the day Radiohead announced that The King Of Limbs would be coming out later that week.
Dear Kate Upton: If you’re reading this, I want you to know that you can teach me how to dougie any time. Love always, Wannabe Valentine #239,570,816.
But we’re not here to talk about any of that stuff, are we? Of course not! We’re here to count down my top 5 favorite love songs in honor of Obligatory Love Day. The fun begins as soon as you click “Read the rest of this page”!
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